I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
