You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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