who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
