$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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