I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
