We won't sleep together?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
