If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
