If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize