can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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