i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
