Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
