im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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