Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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