I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
