We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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