i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
