She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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