bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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