As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
