i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
