My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
