I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
