Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
