Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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