oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Boobs are out for the taking
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
