I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
