I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
