he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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