Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
