was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
