My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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