I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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