Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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