You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
