She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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