I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
God, I missed his penis.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize