Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright