I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON