Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.