Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Randomize
