So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
