My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
