There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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