there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize