Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
