you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
zippers are such a cool invention
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
