a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
