that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
