I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
