I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize