I hate all girls vehemently.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
