every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we're so committed to being not committed
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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