Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
