Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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