i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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