Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
