so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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