There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
