how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
