Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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