I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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