Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
