is wine microwaveable?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again