I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover