Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

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  (734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn
  Replies (87) Good night (1631) Bad night (20013)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.

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  (720): I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English. http://tfl.nu/7f6h
  Replies (10) Good night (5341) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Restraining orders are what college is about.

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  (775): He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it. (856): Restraining orders are what college is about. http://tfl.nu/sfmu
  Replies (25) Good night (692) Bad night (5303)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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  (905): I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact.. http://tfl.nu/kbzw
  Replies (42) Good night (719) Bad night (5832) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.

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  (312): just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes. http://tfl.nu/gk7e
  Replies (15) Good night (1355) Bad night (3462) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

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  (641): she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"... http://tfl.nu/ydyy
  Replies (11) Good night (1075) Bad night (3885) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.

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  (816): and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore. http://tfl.nu/dnny
  Replies (17) Good night (4469) Bad night (995)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.

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  (502): Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore. http://tfl.nu/k6j5
  Replies (3) Good night (1884) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.

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  (610): At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there. http://tfl.nu/2tn8
  Replies (1) Good night (1559) Bad night (647)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.

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  (802): It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic. http://tfl.nu/v71x
  Replies (6) Good night (2284) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  (406): 130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/aorw
  Replies (3) Good night (2070) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST

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  (248): THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST http://tfl.nu/uts3
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?

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  (304): I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this? http://tfl.nu/dpdb
  Replies (31) Good night (900) Bad night (1531) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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  (320): I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years. http://tfl.nu/ge1t
  Replies (2) Good night (900) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard

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  (610): I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard http://tfl.nu/mt5d
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt

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