If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event