You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
