So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
