I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
