Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
